Arrogance.

Often times in my life, I have been called arrogant. Many times by myself.

Some could say that I am just over-confident in myself, and a vast sense of self-confidence in nearly all situations can be misconstrued for arrogance. But it's not something being misconstrued as arrogance, some misunderstanding of my character. I am arrogant. I'm OK with it.

However, I am also humble. I may not always be able to easily admit an error or lack of knowledge, but I can almost always spit out an "I was wrong, thanks for showing me that" or "I made a mistake and I'll fix it".

I try to temper my arrogance (well deserved as it may be) with pleasantness. Who can hate someone who's nearly always right and has a great big smile and happy voice? I give of myself to my store and my fellows by trying to teach things I know, take control in situations where I believe I can provide a great solution, I build rapport between management and crew as well as our Production and Service staffs, my interests and eyes are always out for the employees there.

My arrogance is surpassed, however, by a couple people that I interact with who do not temper their own arrogance with any such frivolity as humility. One male I interact with, closely and often, has an inability to accept feedback. Or, apparently, to give feedback. If a mistake is pointed out, he turns red, puts his head down and walks away. The reaction is the same if a joking comment hits too close to home. It's ... amazingly readable. This man has a seemingly infinite capacity (like nearly all human beings) to justify, or explain, the essential rightness of his actions, instead of admitting there's a chance he can be wrong. When receiving feedback, especially of a constructive nature, he defends his actions instead of listening, he likes to explain why he did what can seemingly or actually be incorrect. My perception of these responses is a deep desire to be right, so much so as to provide a veneer of delusion that helps to create a world-view in which one really, truly is always correct, even in a situation where correctness is faced with negatory validation. Arrogant as all fuck!

A woman I interact daily with likes to present a smiling, friendly and cheerful front to nearly all. For some, however, she vents quietly or openly about what's on her mind. She is absolutely, to the core certain that no matter what venom she spews in the ears of those she believes she are in her "inner circle" that those people exposed to her bilious comments will enjoy hearing them and stay quiet about what abuse she puts forth, vicariously. The venom I speak of is her negative mental attitude, her dislikes of other people, her frustrations and angers. Her arrogance is blind, believing that whatever she says stops right there. However, people who have venom spit upon them typically do not enjoy the situation. Further, those same members of this woman's "inner circle", although not willing to tell her directly that they repeat to her targets (or perhaps only this single target) her vitriol, have often asked her to go calm down in some other way. My point is this - I know when she's talking shit about me, because her "close friends" whom she shares her negative energy with often advise me on who said what, so that I can keep abreast of the political winds of my enclosed work-world.

Again, I admit I am arrogant. The big difference is about results. My arrogance leaves the result of a better world, for everyone who occupies the space that touches me.